Don’t Embarrass Yourself: Six Holiday Tips
 By Jackson W. Feldman

‘Tis the season to not embarrass yourself – or your clients.

Holiday etiquette once was a far simpler thing. But in our increasingly pluralistic and polarized culture, what was once nearly universally recognized as sincere, meaningful expressions of reverence, celebration and gratitude unfortunately can be misconstrued these days.

With that in mind, here are a few tips to keep in mind as you revel in the season of joy.

1. Should You Send Religious Cards?
It is the rare person (but beware, they do exist) who is offended by another’s expression of personal belief. Should you send a Christmas card to a client if you are uncertain as to the client’s faith? If the card makes clear that it is a representation of your beliefs, and not an attempt to proselytize, you probably can.

If it is likely to be perceived as an unwanted evangelical outreach, you’ve probably assumed too much. Consider how well you know the recipient before deciding.

2. Always RSVP
Many client and supplier invitations are perfunctory, sent largely out of obligation or just as naked marketing gambits. Whether you plan to attend an event or not, be gracious.

If you can’t show up for an event, respond and express a genuine thank you for the invitation, but with sincere regrets for not being able to attend. You will probably be remembered as more gracious than the party seeker who didn’t RSVP, but showed up for the free drinks.

Doing the right thing interestingly enough can reap holiday cheer. And besides, you’d expect the same courtesy.

3. Know When Time’s Up
Don’t overstay your welcome at events hosted by clients or suppliers. Remember, in most cases these holiday bashes are more obligatory functions than expressions of affection. Many simply are held because the event planner feels compelled to do so at this time of year.

Turning such quasi-compulsory functions into your personal party bash lasting into the wee hours will no doubt reveal a side of you that later you’ll wish you’d kept to yourself.

4. Watch The Drinks
With increasing concern about liability for tipsy party-goers wobbling their way home on the road, many holiday parties are limiting refreshments to non-intoxicating beverages.

But at events where alcohol is served, if you enjoy unwinding with a glass of wine or a can of beer, be mindful of what you resemble once unwound.

Is that the image you want to leave with your client or supplier? If your host serves alcohol, sipping rather than gulping will probably serve you better.

5. To Give Or Not To Give
To whom should you give gifts at this season of gift-giving? To anyone you wish.

But . . . Be aware that many people will consider your gift an unabashed request that they return the favor.

One way to defuse that resentment is to make it clear that your gift is simply given as an expression of your gratitude for the gift of their friendship or business relationship. Period.

Another approach is to deliver the gift so late in the season that reciprocation obviously is impractical. As with all holiday cheer, if you have any reason to suspect gift-giving will have opposite the intended effect, don’t do it.

6. A Year-Round Tip
Here’s a holiday suggestion you should practice all year around – every year.

Treat your clients not just as you wish to be treated in return. That’s commerce. Instead, regard them more highly than you regard yourself.

Such an attitude, if consistent and sincere, eventually is seen for what it is. And you’re certainly not going to offend, embarrass or anger anyone doing that.

(Posted December 2007)

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